I’m not very good a photography. The pictures that I take are rarely that crisp, and it is an even rarer occasion, that I actually remember to take a photograph in the first place. Yet, today was an exception. I actually had the photograph ready before I had even thought about the subject of the post. Therefore, I thought that I would explain what the picture meant to me.
It’s a sunrise, at just after 5 o’clock in the morning. I was awake, and my camera was on my desk (fully charged for once) and thought that this was an opportunity too good to miss. I had been awake most of the night, as I had been getting stomach pains, which is is quite a regular occurrence for me. I tend to get stomach pains/cramps and some sort of acid reflux as my main symptoms, but have always been apprehensive to go to the doctors about it. I think this is due to me not knowing whether it is a separate medical condition, or rather an extension of my anxiety. I sometimes wonder if it is the stomach pains that cause the anxiety, or indeed the anxiety that causes the stomach pains. Maybe it’s a mix of them both, or maybe it is just a cycle that includes them both.
This confusion has been ongoing for about six years, and throughout that I have tried various things to try and settle my stomach issues; ginger, food diaries, aloe vera, bacteria tablets, anti-sickness bands, medication, dairy free and gluten free diets, but to no avail. The one thing that does make me think it is perhaps tied to a more psychological cause, is that it tends to worsen when I am stressed, nervous or when I know there is somewhere I have to be (which is always terribly convenient!)
I hope that it will hopefully get better at some stage, or at least I find better ways of managing both my anxiety and stomach issues, but for now, they both remain very much a main part of my life. I knew I wanted to talk about them both at some point on my blog, as I think both mental health and any stomach/bowel issues do still face stigma and are just not openly talked about enough. So, I hope that this has somewhat helped, and these are issues that I want to frequently return to. This is just a little beginning snippet, all thanks to a rather beautiful sunrise…